Long ago, I accepted that I am not for everyone and that everyone is not for me. I have learned that it is a blessing and for my own protection that I am not for everyone and vice versa. If you think about it, it is a lot of work just maintaining the covenant relationships we are given to manage. That being said, who has time to entertain the unnecessary foolishness that comes along with persuading people to like or love us? The bottom line is that we are not created to be accessible to just anyone. God strategically chose our family for us. He ordained some of our friendships – notice I said “some”. However, the presence of trouble in a relationship does not always mean that it is not meant to be or that a person doesn’t “get you”. A relationship is not authentic until you have had a disagreement, an offense takes place, or that person sees you at your worst, and yet their loyalty and love does not change. In stating that you will be enough for the right people, I mean that you will be adequate for who or what is required at the time. This means, you may not always be enough, particularly when seasons change in your life. This is where and when it can become difficult. The moment I sense that my role or reason for being in a person’s life has ended, I am no longer adequate for them. If I choose to stay engaged in the same way, I only do myself and them harm. Secondly, do not assume that those who may not display or demonstrate a likeness toward you is in any way jealous or “hating” on you. Just because you are not liked does not mean you are hated. There could be countless reasons why a person is not supposed to be in your inner circle. We live in a society that is easily offended but fails to confront the origin of why there is a need to be included by all in the first place. I believe part of this stems from believing that we must fit in everywhere in order to be significant. There is a lie going around that one’s impact and importance is comprised of being liked and followed by masses of people. Another lie is that these people all care about you and want what is best for you – until they determine that you are not enough. The right people will have healthy expectations of you, hold you to high standards, and help when needed. They will support you without having to ask them and will make sacrifices without telling you. They will understand if you are not yourself without making it about them. They will think good of you and will not tolerate anyone saying anything bad about you. They won’t have to defend you around others because they won’t entertain people who feel comfortable talking about you to them. The right people are right for you because they believe in what is right themselves. Being enough does not mean that you are perfect, but that you are appropriately living out your purpose among those entrusted to you and to whom you belong.
Jewel Challenge: This week, evaluate your relationships. Make sure they are what you need and that you are fulfilling the right role in their lives as well.
Black History Month Activities
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